The Honest Truth About Men!!

1. The nice men are ugly.

.

2. The handsome men are not nice.

.

3. The handsome and nice men are gay.

.

4. The handsome, nice, and heterosexual men are married.

.

5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.

.

6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.

.

7. The handsome men without money are after our money.

.

8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.

.

9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have no money, are cowards.

.

10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have money and thank God are straight, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!

.

11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.

...

NOW...

WHO IN THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?!?!

Tweet

INSTALLING HUSBAND !

A woman writes to the IT Technical support..... Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from  Boyfriend 5.0to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition,  Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such asRomance 9.5 andPersonal Attention 6.5,and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0,MONEY 3.0 andCRICKET 4.1.

Tweet

الجهد المعكوس

لماذا تجري الرياح بما لا تشتيه السفن؟؟

لماذا نحصل على عكس ما نرغبه ؟؟؟

فى كتاب الدكتور جوزيف ميرفى

" قوة العقل الباطن

" وجدت هذا القانون وهو قانون

" الجهد المعكوس "

لعالم النفس الشهير الكورى

يقول :

" عندما تكون رغباتك وخيالك متعارضين فإن خيالك يكسب اليوم دون خلاف "

ما معنى هذا الكلام ؟؟؟

نضرب مثال بسيط

Tweet

Cookie Story

A young lady was waiting for her flight in a boarding room of a big airport. 

As she should need to wait many hours, she decided to buy a book to spend her time. She also bought a pack of cookies.

She sat down in an armchair, in the VIP room of the airport, to rest and read in peace.

Beside the armchair where the packet of cookies lay, a man sat down in the next seat, opened his magazine and started reading.

Tweet

مذكرات رجل مريخي زار الارض

 

اسمي .... لن تفهموه على أي حال فلماذا تريدون معرفته!!! أنا من كوكب المريخ كلفت بمهمة لزيارة كوكب الأرض للتعرف على هذا الكوكب وتحديث معلوماتنا عنه وعن أهله وكيف يعيشون وكيف يتفاهمون والى أي مستوى من الرقي وصلت حضارتهم؟.

ولأن علماءنا في المريخ درسوا تاريخ الأرض فقد وجدوا أن أعرق حضارة على وجه الأرض نشأت في أرض يسميها الأرضيون العراق لذا سيكون العراق محطتي االأولى لأن الأرض التي نشأت فيها الحضارة البشرية لابد أن تكون اليوم أكثر بقاع الكوكب تمدنا ورقيا لذا سيكون أسهل على أن أدرس هذا البلد للتعرف على كل كوكب الأرض.

Tweet

بسمة بحساب

كان في أحد المستشفيات مريضًا

وكانت عائلته مجتمعةً في صالة الإنتظار حين وصل الطبيب متعباً 

قائلاً: سأنقل إليكم خبراً غير سار

الأمل الوحيد لنجاته هو أن يتبرع أحداً له بالدماغ وهذه عملية خطيرة جداً

وإجرائها سيكون على مسؤوليتكم.

Tweet

the GUYS' RULES

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. 
We always hear "the rules" from the female point of view. Now here are the rules from the male side. 
These are our rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE NOT mind readers. 

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. 
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail. 

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question. 
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. 

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that. 

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really. 

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf. 

1. You have enough clothes. 

1. You have too many shoes. 

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! 

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight. 

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Tweet